“I should have written this on the first pages. But then I had
better things to write than introducing me. It's my diary and I didn't want to
explain the obvious. Now, I feel I must do it as my days are getting more
interesting and I want it totally to my credit.
I'm Scarlett and I'm on this mammoth venture of spending out my
heir-ed fortune on what I love the most. Traveling and Toastmastering. The two
T's that never had a toll on me no matter how much I get engulfed in them.
Raised in New York, I'm not closed with policies that prevent me from getting
close with people and I love. I've been researching on cultural ethics,
languages and acceptance perception of folks around the globe and hence by
default I love Russell Peter quips. I speak 6 languages including my favorite
marmalade like Spanish and the drizzle like French and is still amazed and
eager to hear people interact in English as it is the only linguistic
experience that tie you with no rules, gives you space to explore and invent
and most likely to survive an apocalypse. I'm now on a time travel; of course,
it's not all about different places, but about being there at different times
during which one or many things might have changed, but with a purpose – a
ToastMaster purpose. So there isn't going to be how I met my fiance scribbled
somewhere in the next pages. It's not uselessly personal. It's...”
That's enough and more of a direct excerpt from our dear
ToastMaster's diary. It is mind-anchoring, but you don't get to read as she has
written it because I have the only copy and you'll have to follow me on what I
inferred from it. Dibs.
It was 4 PM on a Saturday in the freezing January of 2010 that she
had her first and only Parisian ToastMaster's with Tour Haut-parleurs on a
green patch just yards from the Eiffel Tower. By this time she was used to
being part of outdoor sessions – from right out in the day under the shades of
their own sun hats to wrapped in elaborate sweaters in a black-and-white snowy
day – quite uncommon in New York. All of Tour Haut-parleurs were below 40
clearly depicting a growing heed to English among the newer generations.
A good looking guy with a bold chin and stubbly face gave a speech
there which taught her something that was since an add-on to her personality.
He titled his talk “Sorry, No” and literally focused on the art of saying No.
Ever come across a Jim Carrey movie(don't raise your hand it's neither The Mask
nor Bruce Almighty) named Yes Man? Well, it's related, is all about Yes or No
and like in the previous article I made a movie reference. Back to the point,
in this hectic, scheduled world of the present, we deal more with colleagues,
co-members, co-enthusiasts and co-operations than with friends, fiancées, and
families and it has become increasingly significant to learn to say “No”. If
you really want to impress someone whatever it might cost you, even your
conscience, then “Yes” is always your word. But remember we are wired to
question something than to answer to a question – talent by birth in a way. So
most of the questions you face from your bosses and co-s are designed to pull
out a Yes from you. The apt response 90% of the time to such requests or
questions is a No and you surprise them with a Yes much to their relief. It's a
valuable life lesson in a passive way unless you need Livingston the Seagull or
the Alchemist to assert it to a higher degree.
Not to be understood as something coaxing to make you say No
always, this targets on opening that blinds between you and a question which
actually deserves a No. It's plenty that you'll have to face
counter-productive, doubting, verifying, correcting responses from your
listeners when you speak. Just like we blame the mother for the misdeeds of her
kid, when you speak, the listeners and their reactions will not be judged and
you alone will be. So, assess, give a sharp or relaxed No with clemency. Be a
speaker of forbearance and absorb into you that anything between the start and
end of a speech in no means can offend you, it's just about the speech.
A quote by Margaret Thatcher said, “If you want something to be
said, give it to a man. If you want something to be done, give it to a woman.”
Gender discrimination apart, say “Yes” when you want to, say “No” when you are
supposed to.
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